First, Catch Your Fish

the fine art of being a monster

Monster Alice
23 October 1961
External Services:
  • monsteralice@livejournal.com
Monster Alice lives in a fish. She caught it herself. No, Monster Alice is not very small, the fish is very large. The fish house is by the river. It is up on stilts so the house will not swim away if there is a flood. Monster Alice does not believe that her fish smells bad, but monsters may have different criteria for "smelly" than you.

You can live in a fish also.

First catch your fish. In order to provide comfortable housing, your fish should be large enough that you can stand up in it. Resist the temptation to use two smaller fish.

Second, hollow out your fish.

Third, stretch your hollow fish over a framework and dry in a warm dry place such as behind the dryer. When dry, transport dry hollow fish to building site.

Fourth, install fish on prepared foundation or pilings.

Fifth, varnish fish.

See? Very easy. Now you too can live in a fish.